Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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