You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
