HIV tests are more positive than that guy
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
