Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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