I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
