my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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