stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize