Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Also, beer. Big fan.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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