the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
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