ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
