so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
