I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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