please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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