Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
