Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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