just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize