So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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