This house was built for laser tag.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
