my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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