If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
And then the night went full on bisexual.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Randomize