as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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