I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
