Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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