Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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