How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
