just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
