Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
