worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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