Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
