Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
