i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
