So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
