So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
