No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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