I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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