is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
