Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
