i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
