I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
