so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
two words...techno handjob
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
