only you would photoshop your dick
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
