i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
