so that wasnt chicken after all
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
