I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
