I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
