did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
