dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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