Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
