yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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