My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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