i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
