Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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