I hate all girls vehemently.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
