i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
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