I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
