Three words: puerto rican gang bang
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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