Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
