i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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