he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i dont even know how to be here
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize