if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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