just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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