the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
is it fun? or sober?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
