PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
