Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
