In the future we'll all be gay
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
