I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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