You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
